I wonder…..if I can complete it...

Come 27th June, I’ll be participating in Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2010. Say “Wow” now! Don’t get too excited. Not the 42km or the half marathon 21 km categories. I’ve registered myself and my bff, J, (without his knowledge) under the 10km category. “10? Only?” Well, considering the last time I competed in a sports event was when I was 12 for interschool sports competition and ran for my school (ehem! ehem!) in the 100m, 4 x 100m, 200m and 4 x 400m categories and I never ran in my life after that, then to run 10km in Malaysia’s premier sporting event IS something, okay! Initially, I wanted to sign up for the 5km category because I know if I pushed myself to the limit I’d definitely get a medal under that category but my dear mentor, K, encouraged me to go for 10km! I thought to myself, one of the biggest marathons he participated in was the Singapore Marathon 2009 and he completed that 42km! So, 10km to him is of course sap sap sui lah! Then, I looked at the bright side, maybe he believes in me. He believes I can do it. Now, it’s up to me to believe in myself. Yes, do the Nike…Just Do It!

Why I picked up running is I’ll be honest…merely to lose weight! I’ve been practicing yoga twice a week for over a year and it keeps me healthier in my body, mind and spirit but it doesn’t shed those extra fugly pounds. I’m in my 3 series, 5’10” (omit the ‘0’) and 54kg (ew!). So, I was thinking I should do something more than yoga to lose weight. I didn’t want to join the gym because I know it would be a waste of money as I’m not disciplined in that sense. Plus, my eyes would probably wander around in the gym as I don’t want people to stare at my sweaty armpits while lifting up the dumbbells. For instant gratification, I could sign up for one of those slimming programs but I can’t bloody afford it!

So, I picked up running. It’s free and I only had to invest in a pair of running shoes. And so, I bought the cheapest branded (gaya kena ada) running shoes I could find. It gave me a black toenail tho’. But it doesn’t matter, if it doesn’t kill me, I can live with it. The toe nail is ugly but lucky thing I’m a girl. I’ll just paint my nails!

I started running over 2 months ago. Thanks to M, for being my first running buddy. Through him, I was met K and he became my regular running buddy ever since. He is my running mentor. If the weather permits, we run twice a week after work at TTDI Park. (Ok, K, roll your eyes now. I know I was a bad protégé last week and we didn’t run at all. Let’s start again next week since we have 27 days to go? And yes, I’m getting out of my hibernation cocoon!) On a good day (good here means when the weather is not too humid and we didn’t have heavy lunch and we have enough stamina) we normally do 4 to 5 loops around the park. One loop is about 1.1 km (correct me if I’m wrong, K!). Being a newbie (that’s always my excuse!), I normally would run one loop, then brisk walk another loop and run again. I think if I compare now to when I first started, there’s quite a bit of improvement in my running pace and my stamina has improved. The trick is to not chat while running! I also tried once…running in the morning, went up and down the hills, went through the main and small roads around Bukit Aman/Bukit Tunku area. We started around 6.30am on a Sunday morning! Yes, my close friends couldn’t believe that I did it! They know Sunday is usually my lazy do-not-disturb-me day! But I forced myself to get up and run that day. And to my surprise, I actually felt better running in the morning compared to the evening runs as my lung was not so contaminated with carbon dioxide and nicotine. And according to K, I did almost 10km in 1hr 50mins (I think!). Not bad, eh? Of course we didn’t run all the way. We ran and we took brisk walks in between and imagined if we owned one of those big gorgeous houses in Bukit Tunku. After that, we rewarded ourselves with nasi lemak! Eheh!

Some of you may wonder whether I have lost any weight since I started running? The answer is NO, neither kilograms nor inches. I guess exercising is one thing, keeping a balanced diet is another thing. And I’m still struggling with the latter. I absolutely hate it when some people who I know never exercised…ever…in their life would say to me, “I thought you do yoga and running but I don’t see any difference!” I take the cynicism as a challenge. I will get rid of that unwanted excess. (Very) slowly but surely. My mum always tells me – as long as you are fit and healthy, that’s all that matters. (Dalam hati – Ye ke?!!) And she usually says that while serving her King Prawns curry! Haih! On a serious note, yeah, at the end of the day, as long as I feel good about my body and blessed with good health, I’m thankful. (Read: I still want to lose weight!)

Running in a marathon (though 10km is not considered as marathon) was never in my “Things To Do Before I Die” list. Bungee jumping, yes, diving, yes. And I’ve done both. So, why do I want to do this? The main reason is to challenge myself. Yeah! Let’s bell the cat! My aim is to reach the finish line and carpe diem! Hallelujah! I’m not out to get a medal (tapi kalau dapat ok jugak, so that I can hang it in my car. Not!). As K wrote in his blog, “Nothing beats that feeling of crossing the finish line”. I probably will reach the...err...bitter end. But if I don’t, then I’ll just give myself a pat on the back and tell myself “Well done, Suzie! You’ve done your best. Now, just stick to your weekly recreational running around the park, will ya?!”

27 days to go. I better do some serious training. K, Tuesday, run? I hope my bff, J, has been doing some work out routines in the gym on his ship. I’m assuming it’s hard for him as he is on a graveyard shift. Can't expect him to work out at 4am, can we? Who is going to navigate the ship!? And he is also trying to quit smoking. Every time he calls me, he’ll be munching something! But whatever it is, J, you better prepare yourself for 27 June, mate!

I wonder…..if I can complete that 10 click. We’ll see.

I wonder…..if they put themselves in my shoes...

Today, yes, it’s Saturday, I decided to check my work email. Hardworking, you might say. No. I’m not a workaholic. It was because last Thursday, I was out for a meeting and it finished late in the evening and I decided to head home instead of going back to the office…so that I could catch the American Idol Season 9 finale! And Friday was a public holiday. Geez! Such a lengthy explanation on why I checked work email on a Saturday. Like, who gives a damn, right?

Anyway, there were 151 unread emails. That’s on Webmail. On Outlook, I have over 4000 unread emails in my inbox! And so, while deleting the unimportant ones, I came across two emails entitled “Resignation Letter”. Not one, but two. Two staffs resigned! Same day. Almost the same time. And same resignation letter template used! “Great!” I told myself. I didn’t say that in a frustrating tone and manner but in a relief kind of way. I knew it would happen in the course of time.

Why relief? Because it made my job easier! I don’t need to squeeze my brain out…thinking of the reasons to fire people. Well, I do actually have reasons but I don’t have the heart to fire people. Tough exterior, soft interior. That’s me. I think. Who am I to fire people? I’m just the head of the office. Donald Trump can fire people. My MD can. I can’t. Well, I can if I want to but I won’t. I’d just keep the staff at arms’ length and pick holes in him. Then, he resigns on his own accord. If I think it would be a great loss to the company to lose him, I’d fight my way with my bosses to keep him. Otherwise, I wouldn’t waste a single minute of my precious time begging him to stay. Good luck, thank you and bye-bye! Nextttttt!!

Okay, I’ll give you a few scenarios:-

• Wouldn’t you be out of patience if you saw your staff, playing some stupid game on Facebook almost every freaking time you passed his workstation? I can’t be passing by every five minutes to spot check but I wasn’t called CCTV for nothing, you know! Yes, it’s good to encourage workers to take 5 but that doesn’t mean he can take a break every five minutes!
• Wouldn’t you be frustrated when you just opened your eyes and the first text message you got especially on a Monday or Friday morning was from your staff informing you that he was on sick leave? Come on, been there, done that!
• Wouldn’t you be pissed off if your staff didn’t have the courtesy to even send you a text message to say he couldn’t come to work because his car broke down? When you asked him the next day, his excuse - no credit on his damn pre-paid cellphone!
• Wouldn’t you be upset if you saw your staff sleeping on his chair after lunch while the others were doing their work? I trembled in the balance when I saw that. What did I do? I took a book and slammed it on his head. Nah! I just woke him up nicely and told him to bring his own pillow the next time around. Like, come on! Just go to the toilet and take a power nap there!

Yes, the most challenging thing about my job is managing people. Seriously. It’s not easy. And no matter how you try to understand them and be nice, if you’re the boss, you’re bad! They will always have a bone to pick with you. I heard they gave me a nick name “Step Mom”! I also heard when they gossip with each other, they refer me as “Your boss”! Am I bothered by that? Hell no! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will never hurt me.

I wonder…..could they handle it if they put themselves in my shoes? Nah! I don’t think so. We don’t wear the same size, anyway!

I wonder…..if I have the talent to write...

And so, due to my monotonous boring life and also I’m already starting to get bored of Facebook & Twitter, I decided to create my own blog. Whatever for, I asked myself. If my life is so boring, what is there to blog about? Argghh…who cares!

I just need to fill up my time with something more interesting than reading people’s tweets or browsing through people’s photo albums on Facebook. Whether or not there will be people reading my blog, who cares! But if someone stumbles upon this blog of mine and starts to read my posts, then I’ll say my sincerest thanks. Hope I won’t bore you to death. Geez! My vocabulary is so limited. Noticed I overused the word ‘bore/bored/boring’? Oh well!

Oh wait! I already have one follower and that’s my bff, J. And I hadn’t even posted my first post and he already became my follower! And that, my friend, is what you call - friendship loyalty! Thanks, J.

Please be forewarned – don’t expect to see bombastic words as I mentioned my vocab is limited. There’ll be grammar mistakes and typo errors. No one’s perfect. I’m not perfect but I’m almost perfect. That used to be my standard answer for “describe yourself” during job interviews, by the way. I will also blog in either English or my mother tongue i.e. Bahasa Melayu or I’ll mix both languages up. Who cares! This is my blog and I write whatever and however I want it! And I’m not writing for any national newspaper or magazine or out to grab the Blogger of the Year award (if there is such a thing!). Hang on! What did I hear you say? “Ada hati jugak nak blog!” Oh! Shuttup! (say it like Simon Cowell) I’m not here to impress anyone. Not even myself!

Enjoy this blogging journey with me….I wonder...still…if I can write.